Upir's Mark and the Catnosed-Chick

A blog about a cartoonist and some smartassed creations. A Velvet Rasputin Comic
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Upir’s Mark and the Catnose-Chick Updates Sporadically

The Upir's Mark Blog is still available in the archives.

Disclaimer: This site contains promotional, affiliate, monetized or other advertisement links. Please refer to the Velvet Rasputin privacy policy for full details.

This site is intended for mature audiences. All characters, situations and narratives in Upir's Mark Blog are completely fictitious.

This blog comes from an alternate reality. It's what happens when the members Siberia's most shocking band grow up, get married and move to Minnesota. Either that, or it's a semi-autobiographical blog hidden under layers of strippers, freakiness and metaphor. In any case, it can be dirty, funny, but mostly bloggy!

A Catnose Comics project: Harnessing inner demons for fun and profit.

Topics

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Guest Comics and Fan Art Across The Internet

Jan11
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on January 11, 2013 at 1:55 am
Posted In: Behind the Catnose

What Vas Have Been Doing

I’ve been having a blast an a half making guest comics in the last few months, and I’d like to share some of my latest endeavors.

  • Magenta the Witchgirl is a cute webcomic, and I could not resist doing this vignette of the title character’s daily chores.
  • On The Prophet’s Garden, I submitted a heartbreaker.
  • Killjoy features a pinup of Maire.
  • You can catch one of my most treasured what-if fan art scenarios of Deacon and Jeff at Yaoi 911.
  • Another fun pinup can be seen at Jaime Jupiter.
  • I sent in a rather insane entry for the Hate Farm Fan Art Contest.
  • What was originally meant as a donor thank you card for Charlie at Groovy Kinda, ended up being an actual guest comic.
  • I made a piece of fan art for Casual Notice that also happens to be the first guest art for Nebraska City, a new comic by B. Hainley. I feel very honored for this opportunity.
  • On M9 Girls, I had the honor of being the first person to submit International fan art.  See the entries in my native Spanish tongue, and in English as well.
  • With my guest artist appearance on Argument Comic, I make my favorite kind of fart joke; one involving a sexy lady.  In a refreshing change of pace, the author actually refers to me as something other than female, which makes me deliriously happy.  (Although I have been legally female from birth, biologically, I am neither male nor female. I’m just pretty and more feminine thanks to the wonders of science.)

What The Characters Have Been Doing

  • Vanesa Catnose has also been keeping busy herself since retiring from doing her own webcomic. When taking time off from being a spokestoon at Catnose Comics, my girl has been moonlighting as a commando and enjoying the swank life in Barcelona with the girls at Steampunk Gorgon.
  • Catnose has also a cameo on And to Be Loved.  She’s the one with the hula hoop next to the Rasputin Barxotka booth.
  • Camello, and Tsar have been spotted on Groovy Kinda, along with a sardine chomping Dima.

Hope you had fun looking!

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Vanesa Catnose referenced in Steampunk Gorgon!

Oct15
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on October 15, 2012 at 10:33 pm
Posted In: Behind the Catnose

This totally made my evening.

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A wonderful crossover featuring Medusa and Catnose!

Sep15
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on September 15, 2012 at 11:03 am
Posted In: Behind the Catnose

Crossover Art With Medusa and Catnose
Zodiak sent me this fantastic crossover image with two of the webcomic world’s hottest models. Check out his comic, Steampunk Gorgon to see more of the lovely Medusa.

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Because Ikea Never Responded to the Original Email, It’s Time To Go Public

Jul28
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 28, 2012 at 4:07 am
Posted In: Blogs

[Somewhat edited from the original letter I sent on 7/21/2012.  Thankfully, I can walk again, but this is inexcusable all the same.]

Dear IKEA,

I went shopping in the Bloomington, MN location on 7/20/2012 and had a less than stellar experience. I have dance-related stress injuries that have left me unable to walk long-distances or stand for long periods of time. Even with frequent rest stops walking for long periods is extremely deleterious to my health. Because I had been uninsured since age 26, and suffer nerve damage, my injuries have not properly treated or healed. Now that I finally have insurance, I have to wait four months until my pre-existing conditions are fully covered. Needless to say, the situation I am about to describe was absolutely awful.

We rarely go to the Minneapolis area since we live two hours away, and had three appointments in addition to our IKEA trip. My husband and I were looking forward to a free lunch and picking up a bookcase combo that he had been saving up for the last seven months. Instead, we ended up navigating the store for two and a half hours in the showrooms, even though we specifically and directly asked five different staff members how to get to the checkout area as soon as possible. We thought that this was a fairly simple request, and honestly I dislike disclosing my disability for something as minor as a short walk to a check out area. Each employee failed to tell us about the direct access route to this section via (unlabeled) stairs that my husband accidentally found, after he realized that we needed twine when putting the bookshelves in the truck, while I was sitting in the car during 90 degree weather in extreme pain. We were only told about the elevator after we finished shopping and needed to take the stuff to the car. Nowhere in the store did we see any signage for electric carts, elevators or to remind us that IKEA even has handicap accessibility services. Because of this stress on my body, I was currently bed-ridden and completely unable to walk. I am hoping that this condition will pass because of the four month pre-existing condition wait. My husband and I were also late to our appointments, because of the unexpected two hours of runaround that we got. This was a very disappointing experience that has left us with a negative impression of IKEA.

To add insult to my rather literal injury, my husband and I did not get the free lunch with the $100.00 purchase that we were promised. Due to a miscommunication with one of the IKEA greeters at the beginning of our visit when we asked both about the free meal and how to go directly to the check out area, we ended up shopping first. My husband and I discussed what we had heard her say and came to the same conclusion. When we were done shopping, I noticed that we did not get a coupon with our receipt as both my husband and I were led to understand by the staff member. When I asked one of the IKEA employees why this was, she said, “You should’ve done this at the beginning of the trip. Now you’ll have to go to the returns area after you get your lunch.” Not wanting to walk more than necessary I asked for her to help us correct the situation. Instead of helping, she turned away from me while I was in mid-sentence and started helping another customer. We never did get our free lunch.

At my first appointment, to get fitted for a wedding dress, the bride-to-be, Lucinda, and her husband noticed that my walking was awkward and obviously strained. Lucinda who is also disabled in a way similar very similar to mine because of her involvement in atelier modeling and dance. She and I traded our experiences shopping at IKEA. She too had a similar experience where she got her shopping list online, expecting to have a short shopping trip with her boyfriend, and instead ended up running around the store for a full day. Since her injuries weren’t as extensive as mine, she fared better, but she too had a negative experience. She too had the same miscommunication with one of the IKEA greeters about the free lunch promotion (which was a few month earlier than the one we wanted to participate in.) However, unlike me, her issue was resolved simply by being told to eat at the downstairs eatery and got her meal for free without having to deal with the returns area. The employee she dealt with was infinitely more helpful and courteous than mine, and she didn’t even have to disclose her health condition to get her free meal.

The $250.00 my husband and I saved in with delivery fees outside the Twin Cities was not worth me being bed-ridden, in pain, unable to walk and uncertain as to how we can cover our medical costs. After this nightmare, we probably will never shop at IKEA again, or recommend the store to anyone. As a arts and lifestyle blogger, I probably won’t be writing a glowing article about my experience at IKEA either. Most everyone I know has very positive things to say about IKEA. Unfortunately, I can’t be counted among them.

I am not sure how to resolve similar situations in the future but here are some suggestions. Training employees to explain that the free meal needs to be obtained before shopping in no uncertain terms — not a vague, “bring your receipt (which of the two and to where) and you’ll get your meal reimbursed,” even if they hand out a flier. My husband and I thought that she had been clear, so we didn’t read it. That was obviously a mistake. This situation was clearly not an isolated incident, because my friend Lucinda had the exact same thing happen to her. However, I would like to see more employees react to such miscommunications more in the way that Lucinda experienced, than in mine. It’s just good customer service; especially since we spent over twice the amount required for the free meal. Also, please make it more obvious that there are handicap accessibility services in the store. Not all disabilities are obvious and not all disabled people are comfortable disclosing their conditions to every random employee they find.

Thank you for your time,
Vanesa L. Wojtanowicz

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It’s official and puppet hair brushing.

Jul15
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 15, 2012 at 11:33 pm
Posted In: Blogs

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One of the ways I channel my characters (safely…)

Mar04
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on March 4, 2012 at 7:25 am
Posted In: Blogs, Uncategorized

This is a true story.

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I made a nude snow angel!

Mar01
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on March 1, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Posted In: Blogs, Uncategorized

You know what’s awesome.  Running around naked in the snow, falling on it tits down and making a snow angel after a nice hot steam!  I love winter.

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Changing – Frustration – Experimentation

Feb22
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on February 22, 2012 at 3:31 am
Posted In: Blogs, Uncategorized
Image02212012211541

Image02212012211541

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Stylistic Mimickry

Feb20
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on February 20, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Posted In: Blogs, Uncategorized
Sketchbook 2/20/2012

Sketchbook 2/20/2012

When I hire artists, it is very important that I understand what I am doing, in the same way I understand what I am doing.  If I can’t take the effort to study their character design and peculiarities to make my concepts and storytelling better, then why should I expect for them to dissect my writing for the purpose of getting the best drawing?  Collaborative work is a risky symbiotic relationship, but when it works, it’s magic.

The sketches above are my attempts at trying to understand how Ram Lama approaches my Rasputin Catamite characters.  This will better help me to communicate what new characters should look like and how old ones should evolve.  Don’t worry.  Nothing here is a spoiler.

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How Pornography Can Be Less Offensive Than My Little Pony

Feb20
by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on February 20, 2012 at 8:32 pm
Posted In: Blogs, Uncategorized

My problem with My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, beyond the awful character design, is the nostalgic artifice of the whole damn thing.  Instead of Hasbro coming up with a new idea for a toy, they find it necessary to recycle an old idea for the sake of squeezing every last dollar out of it. Innocence, morality and wonder are hard to fake, and it’s even worse when these basic human emotions are just repackaged goods. As someone who often needs a break from dark comics, I live for art that exudes joyful kindness. Yet, I absolutely hate it when it’s forced cloying bullshit designed by formula for the express purpose of selling toys to kids by manipulating laws that were designed to protect them.

This is why I could never be a children’s book illustrator or make family-friendly comics. It just wouldn’t be a genuine reflection of my creativity or life experience.  More importantly, I don’t think I could live with myself if I created art specifically to turn children’s imaginations, values and dreams into selling tools. I have no problem doing this to adults, but that’s only because grown-ups have enough life experience to make their own choices.

My work has often been criticized as amoral, offensive or gratuitously dark.  Perhaps it is.  But, I feel it is far less damaging to expose consenting adults to ugly images that reflect something real, than to turn little children into puppets that will grow up to be unquestioning in their brand loyalty with nothing more than a mirage.  For example, it blows my mind that people actually think that My Little Pony’s adult fan base was just a happy accident based upon the awkward writing and boring art.  Observers seem to ignore the obvious: these folks and their parents grew up on My Little Pony marketing too.

When I was growing up, I loved the Transformers and GI Joe shows that Marvel Comics/Sunbow produced.  These shows influenced my art, my sense of humor and my very childhood.  Now as an adult, I am unnerved by how influential this media was to me.  I never really thought about it until I watched Consuming Kids: The Commercialization of Childhood.  I suggest you watch it in its entirety for an eye-opening experience on the packaging of faux innocence entertainment.

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